sometimes reluctant
Thursday, January 26, 2006
  Can You Change Your Mind?
I wrote a letter a while back, to a family member who was terminally ill. I was absolutely convinced that it was an inspired word from God to this precious, dying man who did not have faith at this crucial time. Here's what it said:
Hello,
Whenever mortality becomes real, people of faith want to talk about faith because it provides answers to some of the questions raised by mortality. I recognize, however, that faith answers are only ANSWERS for those who have faith in the first place. It’s circular. So, I expect you’ve heard from people about faith lately, and I guess I wanted to join the fray and throw a few thoughts your way. Please take my thoughts for what they are worth and feel free to disregard them if they don’t fit. I won’t take offense.
First, eternity - or the expectation of eternity - is pleasant for people of faith. It is a fairy tale for those without. Since I came to faith as an adult, I remember thinking, “ Sure, that’s a great thing if you believe it. But I just don’t. ”
Secondly, I think it’s hard for adults to have a significant change of mind (about anything). If we make a big change in what we believe, it means we reject long held beliefs as wrong - and if you can’t trust what you believe, whose beliefs CAN you trust!?! This makes us tend to stay in the camp we’re in - right or wrong. Perhaps the longer we’ve been in one camp, the more we want to stay there. If we change, we might have to consider ourselves fickle, or hypocritical, or otherwise weak-minded. So, we get stuck believing a certain way because we have always believed that way.
Thirdly, it’s hard for adults to accept Christianity because it doesn’t all add up exactly. It only goes so far intellectually, than requires a person to accept some impossibilities (for example: virgin birth, resurrection of the dead…). We are taught by life not to accept a package unless it can stand pretty serious scrutiny.
On the other hand, there are unexplainables in favor of the Biblical perspective. For instance, there are lots of examples of things being foretold in detail, thousands of years before they actually happened. I suppose regardless of one’s position regarding Christianity and the Bible, there remains plenty of mystery to grapple with.
Lastly, it’s easy to identify ourselves as imperfect, but not as easy to accept that God of the universe IS, and has a specific concern and remedy for our imperfection.
So, I apologize for going a bit long, but I simply wanted to encourage you to consider if some of your beliefs remain because they are long-held, and thus feel like they need to be protected. Could you reconsider the possibility of the existence of God, using creation as evidence of a creator? Could you imagine a creator desiring to know his creation - to befriend those He made? Thanks for considering these thoughts,
Love, Julie

As I finished the letter, the phone rang and I was informed that he was gone. I was told that same morning that he had 90 days, or thereabouts. I was cheated!!! I'm still not sure what to think about the timing.
I still think it's hard to change a mind. Especially mine.

 
  I Have a Dream (Revised)

I no longer dream of mansions. While awake, I never did, so perhaps my subconscious has caught up with my waking mind. The dream theme, however, continues.

My kids each wrote a "I Have a Dream" paper last week, in honor of Dr Martin Luther King. I thought they each had an interesting dream for making the world a better place:

Last evening, we received sobering news. My husband's cousin had died yesterday morning. She was the passenger in a car accident and didn't survive. She was in her early forties.

We didn't have regular contact with Anna. I only met her one time, and although I remember her, I doubt that she remembered me. She was high, or drunk, or somehow altered. It was probably stressful to be at a family gathering and so maybe she self-medicated to help deal with it. Her profession was adult entertainment (porn) and she struck me as quite lost.

Now she's gone. I didn't know Anna well, but today I grieve lost lives that are not spent well, and don't get found. I'm adopting a variation of Morgan's dream, that people would not have sin in their lives making them feel like they mess up all the time.

Perhaps Anna turned things around before facing eternity. I SO hope so. After reflecting on Morgan's dream, I think the ugliest thing about sin is not that it makes us mess up all the time, but that is keeps us from reaching up - grasping for the ONLY ONE can free us.

 
Saturday, January 21, 2006
  Making a Mark
Ok, I admit it. I've been crying alot.

One of the reasons is that we're nearing the end of a gospel in the virtual Bible study.
It's http://cybergroup.epiccommunity.com/ if anyone stops by and doesn't know what I'm referring to (which is hard to imagine).

Anyway, near the end of all four gospels is a disturbing revelation. This wonderful, compassionate, gentle, POWERFUL, loving person was cruelly killed by a bunch of jerks! The God I love planned it that way. That's not a pretty chapter in human history. I don't like it at all! I recognize it was the ANSWER for all mankind, but I still don't like it.

Anybody wanna set me straight?
 
Friday, January 13, 2006
  Celebration
I learned something about celebrating this week from my kids and Katie, our neighbor.

My general attitude about birthdays is this: everybody's got one, so what's the big deal? Now for children, it's different. But the special day this week was of the adult variety. Wednesday was my husband's 43rd birthday.

I took the kids to pick out a card. They found one they thought was hilarious; they were absloutely cracking up in the aisle at Walmart. They laughed until they cried. It was something about coughing up a hairball for a gift. I shrugged my shoulders and we got it. They were giggling in the check out line.

We signed it and got ready for the birthday boy's arrival home. They were still cracking up about that goofy card. I knew he couldn't possibly enjoy recieving the card half as much as they enjoyed giving it. A card this good needed a bold pronouncement, they decided. We would surprise him when he got home. We would all hide and jump out and yell, "Surprise!!" and then produce the hilariously funny card.

Katie, our 7 year old neighbor, happened to be over. They showed her the beacon of humor. I don't think she was as tickled by the hairball card as the other two were, but she was certainly excited about surprising her playmates' dad when he arrived home. The jump-out-and-yell-surprise plan was GREAT!!! So, we turned out the lights hid behind the couch and waited.

And waited....

And waited.............

(I wish he'd told me he was running an errand on the way home...)

And waited.................................

Eventually, he arrived. On the count of three, we jumped up and we yelled. He was indeed surprised. He read the card. He chuckled. I thought it was cute. Kinda fun. I was done.

The kids were delighted! Katie said, "I can't wait for next year!" and "I can stay for cake." There was no next year plan. There was no cake plan. Katie needed to call her mom. But Katie was ready to party and her mom said ok, though I think she thought it was strange.

The kids decided every party needed a dancing contest and they tried out a few moves.

The cake was in the oven while we ate. Katie stayed for dinner. The kids decorated the cake with way too many sprinkles. We had candles, but no match to light them. Oh, well.

It was a fun celebration. I hope Katie makes it to next year's party. Otherwise, some scrooge like me will not have a party at all!

Any day is a good day to celebrate.


 
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
  Is Daniel Out There?
Friends, I have a dream...that a man would be judged, not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. Wait a minute - that was someone else's famous dream. Although that dream sounds incredible to me, I have been having another kind of dreams.

On Friday, Mike, our next-door neighbor stopped by to inform us that they are moving. Then on Saturday they moved. It seemed sudden to us, but we knew they had been considering it for a long time and we had had been missing them for several weeks. We talk alot when the kids are outside playing, but this time of year we sometimes have limited contact with the neighbors.

Since that announcement and the subsequent move, I've been dreaming about the house next door. In my dreams the house is transformed into a mansion. Similar to steping into the wardrobe and finding Narnia, the cute 3 bedroom ranch next door becomes a mansion in my dreams.

For four nights running I've dreamed about moving next door into that beautiful home. The first night, I enjoyed a warm bubble bath in the splendor of the enormous bathroom. It was opulent with fine tile and fixtures. The lighting was golden and beautiful. I was very relaxed.

The second, I spent on the patio. It was also grand in scale, and lush. Last night, I went upstairs (did I mention it's a ranch?) and spent time in the arcade with friends. It was musical, magical and fun.

I typically don't remember dreams, and can't remember ever experiencing such a series of interrelated dreams.

Any interpreters out there?

 
Monday, January 02, 2006
  New Testament in 2006
On the odd chance that anyone who stops here does not already know, four friends and myself have decided to study through the New Testament together in 2006. If you'd like to join us, we have a cite called "Word Search," which can be found at http://cybergroup.epiccommunity.com/. Read! Comment! See you there!

The first day, we read and commented on the first chapter of Mark. After sitting with this passage for a while, I noticed two interesting things:

First, I love my grandmother's large print study bible. I've never used it before. I grabbed it out of the garage for no reason. Wow! I like those big letters!!

Secondly, Mark charges through the early ministry of Jesus. There's no linage, birth, boyhood teaching... none of that context stuff. He jumps right into the ministry of this messiah, telling of:

Whew! That's a busy guy, that Messiah! It must have been a burden to be the one who was exactly what EVERYBODY needed - all the time! What a life.

It says that in one day he: taught in the synagogue, went to Simon's house, healed the lady of the house, had a meal (busy, busy).... then after sunset people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door! They didn't come to him until sunset. They had to wait until the Sabbath was over before carrying anything or travelling any distance. When the crowds were desperate to get to this miracle worker, excited, and maybe anxious, they didn't rush to him like they wanted to. They waited. This healer who may be the Messiah - the real thing - came to their little town, and they really needed healing... so they watched the decending sun, unable to persue that which would change their lives forever.

I recognize that, if left unchecked, I can be one impatient person. I can't imagine waiting 15 seconds, 2 minutes, 3 hours, when I suspect everything I need just showed up in my neighborhood! But, it would have been unthinkable - sinful even, for them to have broken the Sabbath. They didn't consider it.

The timing when HE shows up can be inconvenient. And we're left thinking "I've been this way for so long, what's another hour? day? week? year?" I wonder how many didn't go at all because it was not an optimal time to travel.

I, on the other hand, am not a first century Jew. I'm free of the rules and the religious constraint. But, how many times have I waited thru another sunset, feeling powerless, while missing God's provision because I didn't get up and go, or ask, or seek, or knock, or whatever?

I want to be done with that.

 
Sunday, January 01, 2006
  My Crew
Thanks to Stag, and his savvy advice, here's a family photo:



 

Name:
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio, United States

I am a wife and a mom. I am an, occupational therapist. I play volleyball most every Friday evening. I believe I have supernatural powers. I take good care of my teeth.

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