We have a freezer in the garage that is nearly full of food. It's not frozen food because at some unknown time, the freezer simply stopped freezing. It would be great if the freezer had some way of notifying us that it was not functioning. If it did, we could make other arrangements. But it's just a freezer; and freezers are not communicative, so we were obvlivious to the onset of the thaw.

When we discovered a ton of thawing meat this weekend, I decided I’d better start cooking it before it was too late. I had pork chops, a roast and chicken breasts in the oven, ground beef on a burner and I was frying bacon. It was the most meat I’ve ever attempted to cook at once, I think.

When it comes to bacon, I prefer turkey bacon. I don’t buy pork bacon because it is greasy, in my opinion. None-the-less, being the miser I am, I could not let it spoil. So I stood in the kitchen frying bacon (the greasy, unfamiliar kind) in a very flat, square griddle, while baking and browning various other meats at the same time. (Sorry Jennifer. I know this may be disgusting you beyond words.)

Before I knew it, bacon grease runneth over; it needed to be drained. I grabbed the first receptacle I noticed and poured the grease out of the corner of the pan and into the cup, all the time thinking, “I think I have some nice turkey bacon in the fridge.” The grease container I selected so quickly was a plastic cup.

The boiling hot grease walked straight through the bottom of the flimsy cup and marched onto the hot, flat-top burner. WHOOOSH!!!! There was a ball of flames the size of a beachball right before my eyes!

Before I explain my response to this development, let me first admit, I am an occupational therapist. One of the roles of the hospital based OT is to do ‘home safety evaluations’ for patients to determine if they are safe to go home without assistance. I know all about home safety. I’m also certified by the state of Ohio to be a ‘First Responder’ in an emergency. You see, I have professional training. Ironic, isn’t it? There I stood, staring at a fire I started in my own kitchen. It leaves me wondering, do I need to be supervised to ensure my own safety? And that of my family?

So, I drew on my knowledge of home safety. I remembered that a grease fire needed to be handled differently than other types of fires. My heart was racing and I stared, repeating over and over, “a grease fire….a grease fire…a grease fire.....” My immobilizing fear served me well. The grease burned away and the fire went out on it’s own. Shortly thereafter, the smoke alarm started screaming. It did not scream because there was a fire - it was simply scolding me.

When my blood pressure returned to triple digits, I remembered that you never use water on a grease fire. No worries that I would do that – or anything else for that matter! I tried the stare-it-down method and it worked. Now that I'm thinking again, I wouldn't recommend the stare-it-down method for fires. It may not always work so well.

In conclusion, I learned a few things:

• Fear is incredibly powerful.
• Knowledge is overrated and training is useless when we’re standing in fear.
• If fear is my primary consideration, I’ll never USE what I learn, know or practice.
• Sometimes the things I fear are silly. For instance: failure, criticism, looking foolish, or someones disapproval. These fears may be valid to consider in passing, but not to motivate or immobilize me.
• I may not always recognize when fear is keeping me from moving forward. Many of my fears are not as obvious as a fire close enough to warm my nose.

By the grace of God, I did not burn the house down. My family is snug in bed, blessed and safe. In the next crisis, I hope my mind will work some. Maybe enough to factor in - perhaps in some small way.

Before the next crisis, I'm going to be on the look out for fears that immobilize. Maybe some of those fears are valid, but I suspect most are not.

¶ 5:34 PM