sometimes reluctant
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Dinnertime Conversation
Best Girl: In eight years I'll be a full fledged adult.
Me: I hope that you'll have everything you need by then for a wonderful life...
Best Boy: Like a dog. ¶ 6:47 PM 7 comments
Me: I hope that you'll have everything you need by then for a wonderful life...
Best Boy: Like a dog. ¶ 6:47 PM 7 comments
Monday, October 02, 2006
Oh My Aching Head
I recently had a headache. I don't mind admitting that I have little experience with headaches or any other chronic pain. Call me a wuss if you want, but this particular headache was very different than anything I've had the misfortune of experiencing before.
It hurt constantly across the top of my head, ear to ear, and increased in intensity when I would move my head, especially with large movements, like bending over. Also, my eyes hurt when I would re-focus. For instance, I hear a sound and instinctively look that way. Oohhh... And bright light hurt my eyes. And I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't quit using my eyes.
I tried some medicine, but it didn't have any impact. Was this because it was 4 years past the expiration date? No, we've been using it for 4 years just fine, albeit infrequently. I believe that over the counter pain relievers are stable compounds; they don't really change over time. But I've been wrong before. I tried an ice pack on top of my head. It helped some, but the benefit didn't last after the pack came off.
When it was time to get ready for work, I completed my mental checklist: Fever? No. Vomitting? No. Then go to work. It's the criteria I use to determine if my kids go to school. If it's good enough for them, it would work for me. Once at work, I'd try not to move my head much, and I'd try not to look anywhere. I wasn't sure how to avoid looking, but staying home didn't seem to be the answer. I was looking at home too.
When I arrived at work, I told some co-workers that I had a headache. I feared that my eyes might pop right out of my face and roll accross the room, leaving sticky lines on the floor. This would be shocking to a casual observer but seemed perfectly reasonable to me at the time. My co-workers insisted that I needed "Excedrin Migraine". One even said, "I have some in my car. Wait here." When he got back and offered me the remedy from his personal stash, I was hopeful.
Half an hour later, I could function. I wasn't ready to watch an air show, but I could walk and talk. I felt hopeful that my eyes could remain snuggly in their sockets. I could fulfill my professional duties. I could help my daughter with 4th grade homework - which is a smidge more difficult than the work for which I'm gainfully employed. Once I started using this medicine, I could sleep. Sigh. Life seemed manageable again.
I made a trip to the local pharmacy to stock up on this marvelous product. I even got some extra for my friend at work to refill his little bottle. I had to medicate for four days, then it went away. I'm not sure where it went, but I'm hoping the door closed tight behind it.
In the wake of this experience, I've talked with many people who have migraines. Just about everybody has them... or their spouse does... or somebody... Few people I know have no experience with this blight. I shouldn't complain about having only one.
I was very interested to discover how others survive these times. It seems most folks use the 'lay down, avoid the light, and wait it out' approach. That seemed reasonable but a bit reactive for me. I didn't like the idea of letting pain dictate my life. And avoiding light didn't seem like a good choice either. It didn't seem right to be convinced that my life is defined by faith, wholeness and light, yet lay motionless in the dark, passively waiting for the pain to subside. I just couldn't accept avoiding the light. It was too inconsistent with my stated values.
Even when it hurts, I don't think it's in my best interest to shut out light. Light and truth are similar. They hurt, and they also heal. In the case of headaches, I don't judge those who choose the dark. But for me, I'm going to give in to darkness in small doses. Even when the light hurts, I choose it over darkness.
¶ 8:42 AM 4 comments
It hurt constantly across the top of my head, ear to ear, and increased in intensity when I would move my head, especially with large movements, like bending over. Also, my eyes hurt when I would re-focus. For instance, I hear a sound and instinctively look that way. Oohhh... And bright light hurt my eyes. And I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't quit using my eyes.
I tried some medicine, but it didn't have any impact. Was this because it was 4 years past the expiration date? No, we've been using it for 4 years just fine, albeit infrequently. I believe that over the counter pain relievers are stable compounds; they don't really change over time. But I've been wrong before. I tried an ice pack on top of my head. It helped some, but the benefit didn't last after the pack came off.
When it was time to get ready for work, I completed my mental checklist: Fever? No. Vomitting? No. Then go to work. It's the criteria I use to determine if my kids go to school. If it's good enough for them, it would work for me. Once at work, I'd try not to move my head much, and I'd try not to look anywhere. I wasn't sure how to avoid looking, but staying home didn't seem to be the answer. I was looking at home too.
When I arrived at work, I told some co-workers that I had a headache. I feared that my eyes might pop right out of my face and roll accross the room, leaving sticky lines on the floor. This would be shocking to a casual observer but seemed perfectly reasonable to me at the time. My co-workers insisted that I needed "Excedrin Migraine". One even said, "I have some in my car. Wait here." When he got back and offered me the remedy from his personal stash, I was hopeful.
Half an hour later, I could function. I wasn't ready to watch an air show, but I could walk and talk. I felt hopeful that my eyes could remain snuggly in their sockets. I could fulfill my professional duties. I could help my daughter with 4th grade homework - which is a smidge more difficult than the work for which I'm gainfully employed. Once I started using this medicine, I could sleep. Sigh. Life seemed manageable again.
I made a trip to the local pharmacy to stock up on this marvelous product. I even got some extra for my friend at work to refill his little bottle. I had to medicate for four days, then it went away. I'm not sure where it went, but I'm hoping the door closed tight behind it.
In the wake of this experience, I've talked with many people who have migraines. Just about everybody has them... or their spouse does... or somebody... Few people I know have no experience with this blight. I shouldn't complain about having only one.
I was very interested to discover how others survive these times. It seems most folks use the 'lay down, avoid the light, and wait it out' approach. That seemed reasonable but a bit reactive for me. I didn't like the idea of letting pain dictate my life. And avoiding light didn't seem like a good choice either. It didn't seem right to be convinced that my life is defined by faith, wholeness and light, yet lay motionless in the dark, passively waiting for the pain to subside. I just couldn't accept avoiding the light. It was too inconsistent with my stated values.
Even when it hurts, I don't think it's in my best interest to shut out light. Light and truth are similar. They hurt, and they also heal. In the case of headaches, I don't judge those who choose the dark. But for me, I'm going to give in to darkness in small doses. Even when the light hurts, I choose it over darkness.
¶ 8:42 AM 4 comments
